Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Studying
Before I entered medical school, my idea of a lot of studying was a few hours of looking over notes the night before a test. I refused to study any more than 3-4 hours for any test because I didn't think it was worth it (and frankly, even in nursing school anything more than that would have been a waste of my time. Don't always believe what you hear).
When I was applying to medical school, I knew things would have to change. What I didn't realize was the extent to which everything would change.
For the past 2 years, 3 months and 1 week I have been studying for no less than 2-3 hours EVERY DAY (not including christmas/summer holidays) - this is not counting the increased study time that goes in before tests/shelf exams/boards. Weekends, minor holidays - all have fallen prey to the evil study gods that demand obeisance. That's fine, no problem.
But hell. I need a break. The problem is, I'm afraid that if I take a break I'll get behind, I'll never be able to catch up, that my whole system will fall to pieces and all my dreams will go by the wayside. I have too much vested in my dreams for that to happen.
I realize this is all a bit of overkill, but you get the point. I don't want to have wasted 4 years and roughly 135K by the time all this is through - if you catch my drift...
I think anxiety is a part of the game. I don't know how many of my friends here in school have started taking anxiolytics or antidepressants since first year. More than I can count on both hands, I can assure you. Fortunately for me, I've withstood the onslaught of anxiety and depression better than some and have yet to succumb to medication to ease my pangs. Of course, I've always considered myself thick skinned. Which I guess is why I can give and take so much $h!t.
But back to the point - I need a break from the daily grind. I'm ready for fall break. When do we get that? Just a nice week with nothing to do, nothing to study, no patients to see and no shelf exams at the end... only a mirage in the deserted distance? I'm sure, but it sure is a tantalizing vision!
Christmas can't come soon enough.
Fortunately for me, the block in which I find myself is probably the most intense - Int Med, Family Med and Surgery. Next is Peds and OB/Gyn block, then OMT, PCP, and Psych. Round out the year with some cush... that's what I'm talking about!! I'm ready. ¶ 6:03 AM
When I was applying to medical school, I knew things would have to change. What I didn't realize was the extent to which everything would change.
For the past 2 years, 3 months and 1 week I have been studying for no less than 2-3 hours EVERY DAY (not including christmas/summer holidays) - this is not counting the increased study time that goes in before tests/shelf exams/boards. Weekends, minor holidays - all have fallen prey to the evil study gods that demand obeisance. That's fine, no problem.
But hell. I need a break. The problem is, I'm afraid that if I take a break I'll get behind, I'll never be able to catch up, that my whole system will fall to pieces and all my dreams will go by the wayside. I have too much vested in my dreams for that to happen.
I realize this is all a bit of overkill, but you get the point. I don't want to have wasted 4 years and roughly 135K by the time all this is through - if you catch my drift...
I think anxiety is a part of the game. I don't know how many of my friends here in school have started taking anxiolytics or antidepressants since first year. More than I can count on both hands, I can assure you. Fortunately for me, I've withstood the onslaught of anxiety and depression better than some and have yet to succumb to medication to ease my pangs. Of course, I've always considered myself thick skinned. Which I guess is why I can give and take so much $h!t.
But back to the point - I need a break from the daily grind. I'm ready for fall break. When do we get that? Just a nice week with nothing to do, nothing to study, no patients to see and no shelf exams at the end... only a mirage in the deserted distance? I'm sure, but it sure is a tantalizing vision!
Christmas can't come soon enough.
Fortunately for me, the block in which I find myself is probably the most intense - Int Med, Family Med and Surgery. Next is Peds and OB/Gyn block, then OMT, PCP, and Psych. Round out the year with some cush... that's what I'm talking about!! I'm ready. ¶ 6:03 AM
